This past week has been so eye-opening (in many ways) for me.
I’ve been more or less on autumn leave for the past week, as the kids have had a one-week vacation from school.
One morning I received a message from a friend of mine who asked for help in regards to her work.
Immediately I noticed how annoyed by this ask I was. Which is really interesting, because I’ve been doing some work this week, too.
Maybe it was because I received it the first thing I put my phone on in the morning?
While this ask is a sincere ask for help from a friend in its essence, that may not be the case for the receiver if she’s someone struggling to set and keep healthy boundaries in terms of giving to others.
Which used to be my case. Although I’ve gotten better at it, it still doesn’t come automatically to me and I struggle with it from time to time. As seems to be the case now.
This made me think about the costs of the response.
Thinking in common consciousness terms, responding to such requests as this wouldn’t cost a thing, right?
Or only a little bit of time, but certainly nothing in terms of money, as these are the terms we’re taught to consider the costs. Time and money.
But what about the less obvious ones? The ones we’re never really taught to consider? The costs of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing?
As I was pondering this, I in return asked for help from my ride or die friend and we ended up having an enlightening conversation – one that lifted both of our spirits.
The thing is that when you’re giving your precious time, it should happen in a way that it doesn’t cost you anything in any terms.
In my experience, the best relationships are balanced in their giving and taking. The worst are the ones who consistently keep taking, but not giving anything in return.
They deplete you and accumulate the less obvious costs of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing over time.
And you certainly don’t need that.
With my all,
Paula
xx