Lately I’ve had so many discussions with my clients about the stress they experience in their lives and businesses.
As it appears, stress isn’t so much caused by the outside conditions, even though it might seem like it at first, but it rather comes down to your own thoughts.
One thing especially seems to increase the stress levels – and it is the habit of ‘shoulding’ yourself. You may know what I’m referring to…
I should do that, I shouldn’t have done that, I should be, I shouldn’t be, You should, she should, they should… should, should, should…
Endless shoulding only keeps you stuck and you blame yourself either for not doing something or doing it wrong.
Or feeling annoyed with the fact that someone else should have done something, but they didn’t! Or not to do something, but they did!
Either way, shoulding isn’t a good thing at all!
I mean, think about the amount of time people use to shoulding in their lives! What could happen if all that energy would be used more constructively?
Shoulding only stops you from living your life fully, and this whole shoulding business makes you feel so tight and irritated that you can’t even think straight!
It feels like you don’t have an option, but to… (fill in the blank for yourself).
And that feeling is never beneficial to you, at least not in the long run.
It keeps you stuck with things you SHOULD or SHOULDN’T do, rather than have you notice the opportunities for alternatives around you, that have been there all the time by the way, but you just haven’t noticed them, because you’ve been stuck with this idea of ‘should’.
Are you shoulding yourself?
How else could you language that self-talk?
There’s a few practical, and powerful, exercises you might like to try in the newest episode of The Insights Within Podcast to tame your shoulding.
It’s available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Much love,
Paula
xx